Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize