i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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