and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
