It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
