well I can't set my house on fire every night
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize