im about as happy as oj after his trial
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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