I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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