Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
