We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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