we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
