Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
