This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
