This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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