When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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