boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Bring me that man meat
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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