Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Where is the hickey?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
