11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
