we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
