He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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