I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
