I'll bet she douches with gravy.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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