we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
