You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
