She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
