Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
