my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
