Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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