That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
