This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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