are you so shy because you have an std?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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