Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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