i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
