who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
After last night, I could never be a politician.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
