there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
