And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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