He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
