C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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