She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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