i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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