Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
