I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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