Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
two words...techno handjob
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
