i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
