Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
