is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
