I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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