i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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