About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
