I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
