Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
