sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
