I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
