Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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