Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
