He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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