Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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