Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
