woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
