Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
