every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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