Acid is not a monday night drug
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
